Praise the Lord! It is yet another day in the wonderful land of the living. Yet why do I feel as if I should be out of this place today? I promised God that I was going to keep this blog real…with my true thoughts on life and things.
This past week was a hard week, this weekend was a hard weekend and this time in my walk is a hard walk. I know why I do what I do and that it brings glory to the Lord. I know that in doing it, the Lord strengthens me, yet today I need more strength than I have needed before. Today, I really do not care if I lose my job, if my hubby leaves me or my son decides he does not like me much anymore. It is one of those “I really do not give a care days.” These are the days that I wish I could just stay in my bed and not move a muscle.
As I sit here and think over all that is going on in my life, it is really bothering me that I am still in some of the same situations that I was before. This morning I had to talk to the Lord with the most frankness that I could do with still having respect of who He is to me. I literally said to the Lord that I am tired of “just getting by” I am tired of just making it in this world and though I know that sometimes it is just where we are, I am still tired of it.
I am tired of being tired and I am just dag on tired. I felt a little better telling Him that this morning and I am going to feel better in a few minutes as I get into my work and concentrate on thoughts of Jesus all day long, yet while I am still being the real sister, I have to take the time to just say that sometimes even I want to give up. I know that God has called me to a purpose in Him. I love my purpose in Him, I know that He has more for me to do in Him, yet I am tired.
Today my body is tired, my mind is tired, and my spirit is weaker…yet I know that in Jesus – I will get my strength, in Jesus I will get my joy. I actually do practice what I preach and it does work in the Lord. His word does not go forth and come back void. So do not fret or feel like you have to send me an email to encourage me…I can encourage me and I can speak the words to my very spirit to bring me where I need to be in the Lord, yet I wanted to let you know that I also have these moments of doubt, fear, unsettlement in my heart, yet it is the Lord who brings me out of it. I trust Him to give me a song in my heart to sing and a word to repeat in my mind to keep me where I need to be in Him.
I look at this life is of mine. I am a newlywed to a wonderful man, mother of an awesome seven year old, have a pretty easy job that I do not mind doing. I am blessed, yet sometimes I feel like I am still missing something and when that happens I know it is time to go to the closet and do what the Lord has called me to do. It is something as I know that I am moving closer to the Lord in my walk with Him, yet there are days I just go – Why Lord!!??? LOL As I hear in my mind…to whom much is given…much is required….well He gave me His life so that I can have Eternal Life…so I better give Him mine!
I look over the things of my past and truly am thankful for it. It helps me to witness to others of the goodness of the Lord. On Sunday as I was dealing with the children that we brought to Sunday School and church, (There are a few challenging young ones that the Lord has directed me to be there for. Pray for me as it is very challenging at times), I take the children outside in between service and as soon as I walk out the door, I hear…”There is my wife right now”. (My first thought is…what now??!! Mind you I am dealing with some serious children issues at this time), as I walk over to my husband and this young man, who had the look of defiance and mistrust on his face. My husband tells him that I had dealt with some of the same things he did. (Of course I have no idea which item he is talking about, until he (hubby) blurts out…she has been abused too. Well that tells me what mood to go into…instead of tough mama…it is time for loving mama. Minister Merv informs me that this young man (Anthony) is also an atheist.
Okay so I have a 17 year old atheist who has been abused in front of me. I start to tell him in a loving voice a really brief overview of my life…he listens and then tells me that he is in foster care and he is still being abused. Well of course, my mode changes yet again…I tell him about how he needs not to be there. My concern goes from his salvation to his safety for that night. Sure he is 17 years old, turning 18 at the end of the month; he feels that something is wrong with him because his birthday is on October 31. I am looking into the eyes of a child still…a child longing to feel the love of a mother. I looked in his eyes and instruct Minister Merv to give him our phone number. I tell him that we are here for him 24 hours a day, seven days a week…I tell him that I LOVE HIM and though he may not believe it…so does God. I tell him that he does not have to be in that environment and though he does not want our help today to know that if he changes his mind, he can call us anytime and come to us for help.
The Holy Spirit kept telling me to hug him and I did…I just kept hugging this lost child and as I hugged him, I was praying for him. He did not know it but yet I did. We prayed with him aloud and he said that it would not hurt nor help his situation, yet I pray that the Lord shows up to reveal Himself to Anthony in a positive manner as he has had enough negativity. He walked away with a small smile on his face and a promise to call us if he needed us. I know that he believed me as I could see that mistrust was replaced with relief and small level of trust because he knew I understood him.
I looked at this young man and I thought of countless young people and grown folks that are lost in this world that are just getting by. I think about all of that and I know why I am here…I know what my purpose is and I am determined to keep going forward regardless of what others say, regardless of how I feel, I am going to keep spreading His word every where I go and keep singing His praises no matter how much my body aches, no matter how much my mind is saying give up…the Lord is my strength and He is my all in all…I know when I am done writing this, that I will get a word from the Lord either in song or in His word. I know that in all things – the good will come to me because I am the called according to His purpose no matter how dark it looks now…today is a wonderful day in Him because I have yet another opportunity to witness of the goodness of Jesus and ALL that He has done for me!
So it does not matter who reads or does not read what I write, it does not matter who visits the web sites, joins the communities, or even what people think of me…what matters the most to me is that I am living the life that the Lord wants me to live so that I can spend all eternity with Him. I want to share the love He has given unto me with all those that I meet…so I am sharing yet again today and I will continue to share until He tells me to stop…I might think that I want to stop but He has not directed me to do so, so I am going to keep moving forward and witnessing to the world…not just on line and via email but live and in person. Let us keep telling the world of the love of Jesus and stand despite all the adversities that come our way…if we ignore them…they will go away! AMEN!
One more point that is so important that we understand…we can witness to this dying world, but if you do not help meet their needs…chances are they are not going to hear you. Do not tell a hungry person that Jesus loves them without giving them some food for their belly. Do not tell a man out of work with a family starving that Jesus will work it out, without providing food for his family to eat while he is looking for work. Do not tell a prostitute with no health insurance yet her baby needs medication, that Jesus will heal her child…without providing the finances for the medication and daycare for her child so she can look for a different job. Do not tell someone that you love them and watch them suffer and be in need without helping them…if you truly love those that you meet…help meet their needs by giving them what they need and ministering the word of God to them. The hungry need food…feed them and talk when their bellies are full…the jobless need skills – teach them and talk to them about how awesome God is…meet the needs that the people have and spread the love of Jesus while you are doing that.
The Lord will bless your efforts because He does for Minister Merv and I, as the Lord have taken control of things in our lives. Sure we are down financially but you know what the Lord has and will provide. I seek His direction in all of that and He will do what is necessary for us. My dream is to one day have a center where we meet the needs of people daily in all walks of life. We meet them with a need and give them the word of God as we meet that need. We show them that we love them by giving them a hand up not a hand out. We need to reach those that need help outside of our own families, reach those that are going to truly hear what we are saying and reach those that we have no idea what they are going to say when we give them the word…you never know who you might be reaching out for…you could make a difference. Which is why the motto for WL4J is “We Are Here For Our Sisters – One Sister At A Time” Praise the Lord!
Have a blessed and wonderful day in the Lord…by the way…I am stronger just by writing this today…the Lord has blessed me with a peace that passeth all understanding and all I have to do is rest in the safety of His arms and His words! AMEN!
Love you all in Jesus,
Your Sister in Christ,
Sister Alissa Lynne
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