Praise the Lord – how is everyone? I pray all is well with everyone. You know lately the Lord has me doing things that I just never thought I would be doing….man I have been biting my tongue so much lately…which I believe is teaching me to learn patience and wait on the Lord.
It was said to me not too long ago that sometimes I come across rough and I had to stop and think about it. I had to take myself out of that situation and think about what was said. I try to evaluate what people say and take what I can take to learn from it and disregard the things that are not pertaining to me aside. It is something how the Lord will have us do that and put it on our hearts to do that. I have grown so much because I used to take everything that a person says to me to heart and I mean to heart. It was hard not to do so, growing up feeling criticized for everything that I did, I have a tendency to do that even still.
Yet as I move forward in the Lord, He has shown me the division between what others feel and what He says. How awesome is that? I am very passionate about WL4J anyone that knows me knows that I am. My poor hubby, I talk about things related to WL4J all the time, the great thing is that it is all about Jesus so he (hubby) does not crumble about it to me at least. Yet as I was thinking about what was being said to me, the Lord had me digest on it some and took to heart some of it and tossed the rest out.
It is amazing how much damage we can do to ourselves when we take everything someone says to heart without consulting the Lord first. I am learning more and more to listen to Him and less to what others think or say about me. This is a big deal from a sister who has had and still struggles with acceptance issues. It is not easy to tune all that out, it is not easy to not allow my feelings to be hurt or to not get angry but I am getting better. I have learned with WL4J there is no option…everyone is not going to like what you do or say all the time. How many times I wanted to give up because of what was said to me or not said to me….thank God for having a relationship with the Lord to hear from Him. How awesome is it to also have a praying husband who will automatically start praying just because of my response to him…although sometimes I think he is praying that he does not smack me…LOL (Just kidding my hubby would NEVER smack me – this I know – now shove me a little…LOL still kidding)
Yet how many times do we allow the thoughts of others ruin our days and nights, how many times have we allowed the thoughts of others just come and destroy us…I have done that so many times that I have lost count – but in the Lord I am learning to not allow others to determine who I am in Jesus but to rely on the Lord to determine who I am in Him. It is not always easy to look at someone who has hurt you or upset you with joy and love – it just is not easy – but it can be done – it truly can be done.
Honestly I am not there yet, but that wonderful man that the Lord has blessed me with has shown me that it can be done if we just keep walking with the Lord. I just love my hubby! LOL We have to remember that it is not man who makes us but Jesus Christ Himself!
Praise the Lord – what a beautiful day it is this day! I am so thankful to be alive and well in the land of the living. God is good to me and for that I am grateful to Him for all that He does in my life. He is what keeps us…as I was driving into work this morning I was just thanking God for keeping me, saving me and blessing me. He is just so good and I am eternally grateful.
I had a rude awakening yesterday that I do not believe I was prepared to face but face it I had to do as I cried last night in the arms of my hubby…which by the way is the best place to cry! LOL I have been feeling so out of place with my family – particularly my siblings. Yet I was sobbing last night, I was trying to explain it to my hubby. I grew up away from them, not really being a part of their play life as kids. I was a loner because I was afraid to get close to them, that he would kill them if I did. So growing up, I pretty much kept to myself and not really focusing on them. It helped somewhat because my twin sisters are 7 years younger than I am, along with the fact that there was two of them so they played together, they were more than sisters – they were best friends. My brother is just that a brother…male and female – we saw some things alike but most times did not. Yet that was how it was…I was separated from them. There was no option, I was told that he would kill them and since he used to beat the mess out of my mom, I believed him.
Yet that separation is still there. When my mom passed away in 2005, I made a clear effort to be more in their lives, be more supportive. Well then I had the nerve to serve the Lord….and things have not been the same with them since. I have family members not speaking to me for all different reasons and all sides of the family. I just felt the pressure of it all last night as I could not get someone to keep my son while my hubby and I celebrate our 1 year anniversary. I was just hurting and needed to release it. Yet as I laid there listening to the comforting words of my husband….it hit me again. My life is no longer my life, my walk in this life is different and they are not going to be able to relate to me.
I have wanted all my life to feel accepted into my family and not feel like the outcast all the time. I mean my entire life I felt like the outcast…always being made fun of for one reason or another, yet I was starting to feel like I was fitting in…BUT GOD! Yes God showed me that I do not fit in when I had to stand up against homosexuality and same sex marriage in my own family. God showed me that I had to learn to stand regardless of who the person is and the relationship that we have. God has shown me that I am not alone as there are plenty of sisters and brothers who are NOT falling into acceptance in this world but truly standing out against all that is going on in this world.
Jesus allowed me to see it, and while my son is experiencing this too, God has allowed my son see that mommy is experiencing it too so that he does not feel alone either. It is something as I asked the Lord to give me joy and He has given it to me. Sure I cried last night – but it was the best cry because I had the love of Jesus and I had the love of my hubby right there with me.
You know I am truly a blessed woman…really I am. No matter what I am going through, the Lord is right there and He blessed me with a husband who while I was crying about feeling like I have no family – he held me close and told me how much he loved me and that he was my family. I thank God for that….I wanted a LONG time to hear a man say that and mean it. It is truly a blessing and though many are still looking at us funny or saying we are not going to make it – let me tell you this…God is blessing me to see and to know that this man is the one that God meant for me a long time ago but I was too foolish to live my life according to His will before this to have met him. God saved my hubby just for me – after we were done with our foolishness in this life and started focusing on the Lord solely for our lives – Jesus blessed me with a man that can make me smile, feel beautiful, feel loved, feel so much compassion for life and to feel comfort all in one plus so much more!
We were talking last night about girl names…briefly and he even said Jazmine can be our daughter’s name – I just need to work on him about Lydia…LOL He does not like it but I love the meaning of it and it is a reminder of my mom whose name was Linda. Yet in all things I know that I am blessed with a man that loves me so much for all that I am and I am not. He was so sweet last night and so loving…that I had to stop and say to myself how blessed I am and I had to share with all that I am blessed.
You know as I sit here and think about things…we are more blessed than we realize. Though I do not feel close to my siblings because my life is so different now, I am blessed to have sisters and brothers in Christ that I have a relationship with that I truly am so grateful to the Lord for. The conversations, the emails, the phone calls, and just the love that I get from them is so awesome that I know last night if I picked up the phone and just needed to get it out, they would have all prayed with me and maybe even cried with me because we are sisters and brothers in Christ for real…it is the best thing ever and I am grateful for it.
One more thing before I go…my sisters who are single – please hold out and wait on the Lord – focus on Jesus and let the rest come…it will be so worth the wait and all those empty nights will fade away – please trust God and not yourself…seek His direction in all things. To my married sisters who are praying for your husbands – do not stop praying – your marriages are on the top of Merv and my prayer lists as we know that it is hard for you but God will save your whole household…see it and keep praying – the Lord does answer prayer!
I love you all and know that we are never alone – we are never forsaken and Jesus never fails!
1 Peter 2:9-10 9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light; 10 Which in time past were not a people, but are now the people of God: which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy.
1 Peter 1:14-16 14 As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: 15 But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; 16 Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.
Praise the Lord – welcome to a new day in the Lord – have you thanked Him yet for the mighty blessings that He has given unto us? I pray that you have and if you have not – then please make sure that you do – for He is worthy of all praise!
I have been going through a transition in the Lord, or maybe an acceptance of my walk in Him. I have seen things differently than I did in the past; I have felt things separately than before and just could not understand what was going on with me. Yet, the more I see it the more I am coming to a better understanding of things. My tolerance level for things that are not of God has decreased. What I mean is that I am bothered by the sin around me, to the point of feeling alone in my standing against the world. Yet I had not come to a complete acceptance of it.
I could not understand why I felt so out of place, why I could not be around some people like I used to be, why I could not watch certain televisions shows that I used to watch, why the violence around me bothers me, why things are just so clear and smacking me in the face? I just could not figure it out, yet the Lord showed me that my tolerance for sin has changed. It is not just the sins of the world, but my own personal sins too. It bothers me when I mess things up, it downright disgusts me when I feel that feeling of sins on me. It is then that I call out to the Lord and ask for His direction on how to rid myself of it. It is like a heavy weight on my shoulders when I am faced with my own sins and those of this world, I grieve for the lost for they have no idea what the Lord can do for them and most are not trying to hear you when you preach the word.
Yet I started thinking about the tolerance the body of Christ has. There was a time when we did not tolerate certain things, but we have started taking the ‘love the neighbor’ to the express of ignoring the fact that we are called to holiness too. There is a balance between the two when we truly open our hearts to the Lord and accept what His word is saying to us. We are a chosen generation; we can do this in Jesus.
Yet we are tolerating so much more than we have ever tolerated. I understand come as you are – truly I do – I did, but I did not stay as I was. I was raised in the church so I know the basics of Christian behavior, but I had to read the word to get the rest of the understanding and I am still learning but yet, we are accepting things in the church that we should not do so. We have members of our churches having baby after baby – and no one is talking to this sister to find out what is going on – how to help her see her potential in the Lord to resist the temptation and have the devil flee her. We have men and women walking all kinds of alternative lifestyles but the pastor is not preaching against sin so they feel comfortable living that life and coming to church for they are accepted in their sins. Yes we accept people but we must speak against the sin.
I am in a family that has always just accepted our family members the way they are – we support each other in all things no matter what, well this is causing a great issue within myself. Why because many of them are living in sin and I can not tolerate supporting that. Yet that does not mean I do not love them, it just means I can not and will not accept that sin in their lives…some times it is so smack in your face that I have to call on the Lord to help me deal with it as to not offend them by what I am saying…yet the word of God is going to offend some people.
Yet we have to remember to not cross that line of coming across as if we are holier than thou…which is why I rely on James 5:16 so much as I need to confess my faults so that my mind stays on the fact that I am far from clean – that I have sin in me too. I think that is where the struggle comes from so many as to why they do not stand against sin. Everyone is quick to say that we can not cast the first stone at someone else, and to me that means we can not condemn them to hell as we have no right to do that, yet calling sin what it is – does not condemn them to that sin – it makes them aware of it and then they can go seek guidance from the Lord.
SO many of us see men and women who profess to know the Lord, living together not married for whatever reason, there are also those that are saying that believe that it is okay to have sex before marriage because Jesus will forgive them and they plan on getting married anyhow – they may already be engaged too, yet the ignore the word of God. Yet, what does everyone think, well He will forgive me….yet when we stand before Him to take account of all our sins…what do you believe He is going to say about that? I do not know but one thing is for sure, what I know I am doing wrong I am trying to clean up because I just do not want to have to hear about the mess I have done in this life more than I have to hear now.
I think we give way too many excuses for what we do…it is time to tighten that belt and line up with the word of God – to live as He says to do and stop living within ourselves for ourselves. When you truly live for the Lord – you have no other desire but to live His word…sure the flesh calls out but you are blessed to know Him and it is our reasonable service to live Holy before the Lord. So how holy is your walk with the Lord? Sin is sin – so whether you are sleeping around or lying – it is all sin. If you are gossiping, if you are talking badly about another, if you are snubbing someone because they do not live the way you think they should, this is all sin…sin is sin is sin….we need to get it together in our own lives as we move forward and give the truth of the word to all those that we meet.
We can not accept the mess around us – we must move according to the word of God and stand against the sin….the enemy is busy doing his assignment, are you busy doing yours?
Until next time…God Bless and Have a great day before the Lord! Love your sister in Christ, Sister Alissa Lynne Griffith
Praise the Lord…three years ago today was the last time I spoke to my mother.I got a phone call from her husband that evening saying that she was admitted to the hospital again. This was a reoccurring thing for my mom. She was a diabetic, she had Hepatitis C, along with Lupus…her body was failing her for years and she did not help it by not eating properly and smoking. She had gained weight from the medicines that she was on and yet she still did not do as she should have done. Her body was failing her plus taking her strength along with her will to live. It was about two weeks prior to that we had a serious conversation and she did not want to live any more, she was tired of being sick, she was tired of her life as she felt that things would not get better for her. She had pretty much given up on life.
I cannot even explain to you why I went to the hospital that night, as I rarely went when she was there, it could have been because it was a Saturday night and I did not have to go to work the next day. I took my son with me, and my siblings were all there that night. My sister came with her kids, and I went into her room to talk to her for the final time. As I look over that night, if I would have known that would have been the last time that I would have heard her voice, our conversation might have went WAY different. It is something how we never know when the last time we are going to talk to someone.
I remember our time well, as I came in my one sister was there and when I left my other sister came in. It is something as I look back, we all showed up at the hospital that night, and we all had a moment to speak to her and of course we did not know that it would be our last time speaking to her. My mom was in and out of the hospital because she was a diabetic and she did not eat right. I thought that was why she was there, yet there was more to the story than she was willing to tell us.
My mom had a bad habit that I still to this day do not like. She would only tell us bits and pieces, but we learned early on that she would tell one child something, tell the other child another part, then tell another something else. It was not until her hospital stay did I find out what was wrong with her completely. It was not what I wanted to hear and it truly was not what I expected to deal with in such an early stage in my life. We never know why we experience what we experience, but one thing I know for sure is that I miss her. I will cherish this day in my life as the day that I heard her voice for the last time. I thank the Lord for her despite all the problems we have had.
We did not always see eye to eye – actually we never saw eye to eye and as I grew up I know why because I am a lot like her. I used to hate to hear that but yet it is true…I am my mother’s child in so many ways.I used to run from it, be embarrassed by it but I am now allowing the Lord to show me how it will glorify Him, to bring Him glory in my life. I am thanking God for the life I have had, with all the pain and hurt – with all the misunderstandings and all that overwhelming pain that He is blessing me to live through.
The truth for today is this…I resented my mother for most of my life. I longed to please her and never did, I felt like she resented everything that I ever did that was good. I felt like she made my life the way it was on purpose. Oh my that is a lot to say about ones mother. In this time of life, we are never to say anything negative about our parents for if it was not for them, we would not be here. Yet there is one thing that I learned in my adult life – especially after becoming a mother…we are all human – we all make mistakes. The Lord showed me how she saw herself and how she was in pain most of her life, she did not know how to express herself and she did not know love for herself. As I look over the entire situation with my mom – she made me think that I was no good at times, that nothing I did was good enough, at some points I hated my own mother.
I hated her because I blamed her for what happened to me from the time I was 6 years old until I was 16 years old. I went through depressions and wanting to kill myself and had even attempted it on several occasions, yet God…oh His love for us. I have lately been trying to figure out why I am the way I am, why did I come out of it when my mother did not. Why do I think the way that I do, why do I feel like an outsider in this world sometimes? Yet the Lord says to me that I am His and always His. It does not matter that I hated her, that I did not want to talk to her because in the end I loved her and I knew she loved me.
One more thing…I question everything that I do. I mean every single thing that I do. I question what I say to people, what I write to people, what I think about people. I believe it is stemmed from wanting to be approved by people; this is yet another trait my mother passed onto me. I am thankful to the Lord that I am aware of it and I have an awesome man of God in my life to help me through those times who I know is praying for me when I am acting in this manner. I am a blessed woman of God and truly thankful to the Lord for all that He is doing in my life.
I know that many of us suffer from the need of wanting to fit in and belong, to be accepted by our peers, but the Lord is showing me more and more how it is His acceptance that we need – not the acceptance of others, but the acceptance from Jesus. Let us remember that as we move forward in our lives in Jesus.
I know that He brings me through all that I am going through just as He will for you too.
Love all of you in Jesus, Your sister in Christ, Sister Alissa Lynne
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